David and Uriah

When I told my pastor that God had led me to the story of David and Bathsheba as I sought answers about my abortion, he said that his seminary professor pointed out that this story is focused on David's actions. Seeking answers for myself, I studied 2 Samuel 11 and 12 with a renewed attention to details.

In David's story, I found the need to take responsibility, the benefits of repentance, the spiritual advantages of restoration, and the residual effects of his sin.

This page is about repentance and restoration. For perspective on David's infidelity, read the David and Bathsheba page.

David Didn't Recognize His Sin

King David Needed to Take Responsibility for His Adultery & Murder of Uriah

King David was responsible for his adultery and for murdering Uriah, but he did not recognize his responsibility for at least 9 months.

The King's Responsibility

The king was responsible for knowing the law according to Deuteronomy 17:18-20, and of course adultery is against the law (Exodus 20:14, Deuteronomy 5:18) as is murder (Exodus 20:13; Deuteronomy 5:17)—both of which had legal consequences of capital punishment (Leviticus 20:10; 24:17).

Nathan's Rebuke


2 Samuel 12:1-14

God confronted David with his sins, not Bathsheba. The allegory that Nathan used to get David to become aware of his sin was about stealing and killing. David did the stealing and the killing.

2 SAMUEL 12

v. 9

God speaking through Nathan referred to her, telling David, "(you have) taken his wife to be your wife".

v. 10

Again, God speaking through Nathan said, "taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife."

v. 15

Uriah's widow

v. 24

David comforted his wife Bathsheba...

Women & Men Do Not Recognize Their Own Sins

Paragraph about women and men not recognizing their sins

It took 14 years and a talk with Jesus for me to recognize that my abortion was my responsibility and therefore my sin. And, of course, that if I had not had premarital sex, then I would not have gotten pregnant.

My complaint to the Lord was that life was difficult. I was even mad at Him for allowing my life to be difficult.

Repentance

Psalm 51

In 2 Samuel 12:16, David prayed for his son's life. After his baby died, David went to the house of the Lord and worshiped while bowing down. ("Worshiped while bowing down" is from the Hebrew word shachah, which is translated to worship in that verse. See the Bible Verses on Worship page.) Psalm 51 has a note before it saying that David sang this prayer to the Lord after he sinned with Bathsheba.

Psalm 51 provided me with a model prayer after I accepted responsibility for my abortion. Psalm 51 contains both requests for forgiveness and requests for restoration.

Requests for Forgiveness

verses

Requests for Restoration

verses

Responsibility

Psalm 32

David also sang Psalm 32, although the text does not note when he sang it.

However, when I read verses 3 and 4, I knew I had found my Biblical explanation of what had happened to me.

When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away

Through my groaning all day long.

For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;

My vitality failed as with the dry heat of summer.

Like David, I did not recognize my sin. I went along with life as if everything were normal—for 14 years. But the vitality of my soul drained away. For me, it felt like a slow leak that I did not recognize. The longer the time passed, the less vitality I had. It became as if I were breathing through a straw.

Once completely healed, I was no longer breathing through a straw. I could take a deep breath of God's fresh air! (I have since learned that Ruach, the Hebrew word for Spirit, in reference to the Holy Spirit, could also be translated as breath—all the more meaningful!)

But before I was healed, I didn't realize I was breathing through a straw. I had been breathing through a straw for so long that it felt normal to me. I didn't know what I didn't know.

Restoration brought about full, deep breaths and feels wonderful!

Residual Effects

The Whole Family Feels the Effects

David’s counselor, Ahithophel, was the father of Eliam and therefore Bathsheba's grandfather (2 Samuel 23:34; 15:12, 31). When David's son Absalom conspired to take the throne, Ahithophel joined the conspiracy.

Perhaps Ahithophel chose to support Absalom because he was angry about what David did to his granddaughter.

I Regretted Depriving my Nephews and Niece from their Cousin

My nephew has two cousins, but they are two decades younger than him. If I had not aborted, he would have a cousin a few years younger than him.

My "niece" and "nephews" on my ex-husband's side would also have a cousin closer to their age, and my niece would have had an older cousin.

I honestly did not grieve my "choice" until I realized the effect of my missing daughter on the rest of my family.

My Sons Do Not Have Their Big Sister

I saw the pain and bewilderment on my older son's face when he realized that he's not my oldest.