Tips on What to Say

The enclosed Bible verses and Bible stories are for pro-life Christians, including:

  • pastors & priests

  • women's ministry leaders

  • men's ministry leaders

  • couples ministry leaders

  • college and singles ministry leaders

  • middle and high school ministry leaders

  • concerned Christians

Because abortion triggers many emotions and is most often seen as both a political issue and a women's issue on which men are not allowed to express their opinions, approaching this subject can understandably create fear over addressing it in The Church.

But then The Enemy wins.

  • And women in The Church continue to have abortions

  • And men in The Church continue to pay for abortions

  • And women and men in The Church who chose abortion sometime in the past continue through life wounded and unwilling to serve because they don't think they're worthy

I am a woman who chose abortion despite growing up in The Church with a family history of pastors and worship leaders. I am a woman who stopped sharing her testimony because Christians did not know how to respond, and The Enemy made me believe that I was an outcast and should just keep silent rather than proclaiming God's redemption.

So as someone who has lived it and wishes her church leaders would have addressed it, may I give you some tips?

(And please know that everything I do I do under God's direction, working as for Him. I don't even want to be in the pro-life movement. You can read about my wrestling match with God and my redemption in my award-winning memoir. If you're a pastor or church leader, contact me, and I'll send you a copy for free.)

Numbers 5

Some claim the Bible prescribes abortion in Numbers 5, but the text does not mention pregnancy.

Acknowledge Women and Men Hurting from Miscarriage

Couples who have suffered miscarriage or struggle with infertility may struggle with messages about abortion. From their perspective, women rejected the very gift these couples covet.

In addition, society rarely talks about miscarriage or the grief parents feel. The more we acknowledge miscarriage as a valid reason to mourn, the more we humanize pre-born babies.

That being said, some people shift to a slippery slope argument for abortion because of fear that women will not receive appropriate medical care for miscarriages.

Therefore, define abortion as different than miscarriage. Unfortunately, today's dictionaries define miscarriage as spontaneous abortion. Consider borrowing these definitions:

Abortion

Elective Abortion

Miscarriage

Miscarriage

  • Miscarriage is the death of a pre-born baby without the assistance of people.

  • Abortion as the intentional killing of a pre-born baby.

These definitions are from the introduction to Worship to End Abortion, copyrighted 2020.

Acknowledge Circumstances Surrounding Abortion Choices

One strategy is to start by acknowledging the challenges of discussing the topic of abortion.

"For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."
(John 3:17)

  • 1 in 4 women have had or will have an abortion by age 45, including those in The Church.

  • Although most women choose abortion out of fear, some women are forced to have abortions and others are coerced by the baby's father or her parents.

  • 1 in 2 men have fathered an aborted baby, including those in The Church.

  • Although some men had no say and wanted their children, the majority have been involved in the abortion choice by paying for the abortion, taking her to get an abortion, supporting her through abortion, or abandoning her to deal with the pregnancy on her own.

  • Women and men are mourning the loss of their children, whether they recognize their sin or not.

    When you wonder why women feel justified in their choice, remember that most of them do not know God's ways.

    Also remember that even though King David knew the Law of Moses, he committed adultery and arranged for Uriah's death to cover up unexpected pregnancy and then did not recognize his sin until the prophet Nathan presented him with an allegory. (See David & Bathsheba and David & Nathan.)

Acknowledge Abortion History

In the book of Romans, the Apostle Paul acknowledged societal views before he wrote his thesis in chapter 3 verses 21-31. Likewise, consider acknowledging history (especially in a church of Boomers and Gen Xers—although even with younger congregants, remember they were raised by Boomers and Gen Xers.)

  • The 1960s free love movement (also called the sexual revolution) resulted in many unexpected pregnancies.

  • Women were abandoned by their baby's father or did not know who the baby's father was (and remember that the men were sleeping around, too, but did not face the same societal judgment nor have legal responsibility for their children born from infidelity).

  • Many unwed pregnant women were not supported by their parents.

  • Women did not have equal rights to work until about the same time as Roe v Wade was decided in 1973.

  • The disparity in wages between men and women was far greater in the 1970s and 1980s than it is today.

  • Women did not have maternity leave or health insurance.

  • Margaret Sanger was a eugenicist who advocated for population control of African Americans, but she died in 1966, which was before the legalization of abortion.

  • Dr. Bernard Nathanson and Larry Lader, who founded NARAL (now called Reproductive Freedom for All), have more direct responsibility for normalization and legalization of abortion than Sanger.

They started the "just a clump of cells" mantra.

They lied about how many women were dying in "back-alley" abortions.

Larry Lader died an unrepentant atheist. Dr. Nathanson became pro-life because of what he saw while using an ultrasound machine and started teaching the truth. He later repented and converted to Catholicism.

Most Catholics know about Dr. Nathanson. Evangelicals usually don't and tend to focus only on Sanger. When women only hear about Sanger, they hear that abortion is women's fault even though we all know that it takes two to get pregnant.

Also remember that although some men wanted their children, many are relieved to not have the responsibilities of fatherhood, and some men force or coerce abortions.

Women who fought for legalized abortions thought they were helping the underdog—women who were destitute. Read this explanation and confession from a 1970s feminist:

"When Abortion Suddenly Stopped Making Sense" by Frederica Mathewes-Green

Abortion is Not Healthcare

Marketing abortion as healthcare was a political move to get abortion covered by Medicaid despite the Hyde Amendment.

We can speak against this tide simply by changing our word choices.

not Abortion Clinic

Abortion Facility

not Surgical Abortion

Suction Abortion or Dismemberment Abortion

not Medical Abortion

5-Pill Abortion Regimen

or Chemical Abortion

not Period Pills

5-Pill Abortion Regimen

or Chemical Abortion

With the pills, emphasize the plural—1 pill to kill the baby and 4 to induce labor.

As of 2025, about 63% of abortions in the U.S. are by the pills. The more we talk about the experience of taking the pills, the less likely women will be deceived into thinking abortion is no big deal.

Watch videos explaining the different kinds of abortions here.

Other Sensitive Terms

Avoid words that make people think about Planned Parenthood:

not Unplanned Pregnancy

Unexpected Pregnancy

Referencing Those Involved in Abortions

Pro-life activists often call women and men involved in abortion "the abortion wounded." However, as someone who has had an abortion, I prefer "post-abortive," meaning that I have an abortion in my past.

Abortion Wounded

Post-Abortive

The reason I do not care for the term "abortion wounded" is because by the Blood of the Lamb (Rev 12:11), I am healed and no longer wounded.

Although I do not recommend calling the post-abortive "murderers" in any public setting (because we Christians are evangelists, not condemners [John 3:16-17]), I do consider myself a murderer (Matt 5:21-26), justly convicted (Psalm 51:4). While the Accuser (1 Peter 5:8, Rev 12:10) prosecuted me, Jesus was my advocate (1 Tim 2:4-5, 1 John 2:1), and God had mercy on my soul (Heb 12:23, Rom 9:15).

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